{31 Days} Preparing for Baby # 3 – Letting Go of Expectations Part 2
Welcome to my {31 Days} series this year! We will soon be welcoming baby # 3 and I realized that there is a lot I need to do before that happens! You can find all the posts in this series here. Thank you for following along with me.
Last week I talked a little about letting go of
expectations. It was mainly the physical
craziness of having a new baby. Trying
to keep up with food and cleaning, making sure to allow myself time to rest and
not being hard on myself if I haven’t made yogurt or bread for the week.
expectations. It was mainly the physical
craziness of having a new baby. Trying
to keep up with food and cleaning, making sure to allow myself time to rest and
not being hard on myself if I haven’t made yogurt or bread for the week.
As I was thinking more about it, I realized that letting go
of expectations can be much more philosophical as well.
of expectations can be much more philosophical as well.
I am very much a “crunchy” parent. I love to clean with vinegar and baking soda,
I do not like chemicals in my house, I try to make the most “natural” decisions
as possible.
I do not like chemicals in my house, I try to make the most “natural” decisions
as possible.
Sometimes the choices you make are not because you want to
make those choices, but because you have to make those choices.
make those choices, but because you have to make those choices.
When I was pregnant with my oldest, I realized that I wanted
a natural birth. I was not going to have
medicine, I went the hypnobirthing route, and I was happy about it. Of course, I should have realized that
nothing seems to go exactly as planned, and after being in active labor for a
couple days (yes days), my Dr. and I decided on a caesarean. This was not at all what I wanted.
a natural birth. I was not going to have
medicine, I went the hypnobirthing route, and I was happy about it. Of course, I should have realized that
nothing seems to go exactly as planned, and after being in active labor for a
couple days (yes days), my Dr. and I decided on a caesarean. This was not at all what I wanted.
However, after I had the caesarean, I still had a beautiful
baby girl that I was and am totally in love with.
baby girl that I was and am totally in love with.
For me, the reason natural labor wasn’t working was because
I had been in a car accident when I was younger at which time I broke my
pelvis/hips/tail bone; with the pelvic issues, I was not going to be able to
naturally deliver a baby. So it was
actually by God’s grace that I was unable to “progress” as much as I needed to,
we could have had a very large emergency on our hands.
I had been in a car accident when I was younger at which time I broke my
pelvis/hips/tail bone; with the pelvic issues, I was not going to be able to
naturally deliver a baby. So it was
actually by God’s grace that I was unable to “progress” as much as I needed to,
we could have had a very large emergency on our hands.
Why am I telling you this?
Well, the biggest reason is to empower you to let things come as they
may.
Well, the biggest reason is to empower you to let things come as they
may.
Was it difficult to end up having a C-section after I had
spent so much time centering myself on a natural birth? Absolutely.
Does it mean that I failed as a mother?
Absolutely not.
spent so much time centering myself on a natural birth? Absolutely.
Does it mean that I failed as a mother?
Absolutely not.
I think that we need to give ourselves grace in these
situations. Now, I am not saying that
every person out there should have a C-section; that is a little ridiculous,
especially with the risks involved – it is major surgery after all. However, if you end up having one, I think
that you should concentrate on the fact that you have a new baby, and enjoy
that.
situations. Now, I am not saying that
every person out there should have a C-section; that is a little ridiculous,
especially with the risks involved – it is major surgery after all. However, if you end up having one, I think
that you should concentrate on the fact that you have a new baby, and enjoy
that.
We, as mamas, have a tendency to want everything to go the
“right” way, and when it doesn’t, we seem to beat ourselves up, and try and do
better the next time. I think that can
get in the way of what is truly important.
That we have been given these precious little people to care for and
nurture and raise into adulthood.
“right” way, and when it doesn’t, we seem to beat ourselves up, and try and do
better the next time. I think that can
get in the way of what is truly important.
That we have been given these precious little people to care for and
nurture and raise into adulthood.
Just as we do not want others expectations of our lives to
impact our family, we have to be aware of our own expectations, and letting
them go once in a while for the betterment of our families.
impact our family, we have to be aware of our own expectations, and letting
them go once in a while for the betterment of our families.
Is there an expectation
that you place on yourself with regards to parenting or family that you need to
let go of?
that you place on yourself with regards to parenting or family that you need to
let go of?
Great post and reminder to give ourselves a break and you're absolutely right, let things come as they may! Thanks for this!