How To Stop Confusing Busyness With Progress

Busyness is one of those things that has come right to the front of life these days. It seems like every person I know is busy. There are so many activities that your kids are involved in, you can’t take a minute to breathe. Our busyness leads itself to burnout. While you may think that being busy is helping you continue to be productive, that is not the case. Instead, all of those busy days are you just getting through, and not making progress.

Busyness: The Illusion of Productivity

If you are busy all of the time, you are obviously being productive, right? Well, no, that is not the case at all. If you are busy, can you be productive? Absolutely, but more often than not, it is only an illusion of productivity.

Earlier this month I talked about the art of saying no. In that post I talked a lot about how if we are saying yes to the wrong things, we aren’t able to make the progress that we want to make on our goals, and in our lives in general. When you are saying yes to something, you are automatically saying no to something else. And is that no where you want to be saying no? Or is it a bi-product of saying yes to something you didn’t actually want to do?

People often confuse busyness with productivity. If you are constantly moving to the next thing, you are being productive by way of just doing the next thing. But, that isn’t the case at all. Instead, you are lying to yourself about being productive. And because of that, you don’t make room to do the things that matter most to you.

This is Harsh

If you are constantly moving from one activity to the next, you aren’t living, you are just moving through life harried and exhausted. It seems harsh, but this busyness leads to stress, and we all feel it these days. I know that if you are my age, and you think back to your own childhood, things weren’t as rushed as they are today. There wasn’t as much competition to make sure you were doing all.the.things. You were able to relax a bit on the weekends instead of moving at a breakneck pace and barely having recovery time before Monday morning rolls around again.

Are there people who thrive in this type of environment? Absolutely! But, the vast majority are instead running themselves ragged trying to keep up with everything they have signed up for.

Why is this? Why are people so busy today, when they weren’t in years past?

Busyness: The Ultimate Comparison Trap

We all know that comparison is the thief of joy, but why is it that everyone falls right into that trap day after day, season after season? When you see other parents out there doing all of the things with their kids, you feel the need to keep up. You want your kids to be doing just as much because it is going to help them, right?

But is it? It may be controversial to say, but I believe we have created these stressful lives for our kids. In wanting what’s best for them, we have created an environment where our kids aren’t living their lives, they are trying to get to the next sports practice, the next dance practice, the next music performance. Instead of enjoying any of those activities, they are just moving through the motions. My fear is that we are setting up our kids for burnout before they even reach adulthood.

My Year to Simplify

This year, I chose the word simplify as my guiding word. It is something that I have felt the pull to for years. Slowing down, returning to the basics, getting rid of the physical and mental clutter. I wanted to lean into living our experiences, rather than rushing through them because we have three more on the list.

It has been an amazing year. We stepped back from all activities. Instead, we have leaned into family and relationships, taking the time we need for rest, and generally enjoying life. It may sound so strange to some, but I don’t think life was always like this. See above about childhood – we had a good amount of boredom growing up, and I think it is important for my kids to have that as well.

Busyness is not Progress

You are busy, you think you are being productive, but you are just moving to the next thing. You aren’t able to enjoy the little moments because you are stressed about getting the next thing done. Why are we living our lives this way? What caused us all to say, “oh, not only does Suzy need to be in soccer, but she has to do travel soccer, and soccer in all the seasons!” Is little Suzy going to play professional soccer? Unlikely. So why are we putting our kids through this busyness?

I’m not saying that you have to take it to the other extreme of doing zero activities. But, perhaps lightening your load a bit. Maybe take a season off? Try to center yourself, and remember that we only have this one life. We don’t want to be rushing through it!

Do you feel busyness taking hold? Are you not able to catch your breath? What is causing you to stay busy?