How to Define Your Why
Yesterday we talked about what was stopping you from crafting your dream life, and today I want to dig a bit deeper into how to define your why. When you have a firm “why” behind what you are doing, you are more likely to actually do those goals. It may sound strange, but you need to define your why before you start making progress on that dream life you want to live.
When you have identified your why, it gives you some of the motivation you need to continue working on the hard parts of your goals. You need to be able to have motivation when you are struggling to make progress. When you understand the why, the hard steps (while not easy) are more likely to be overcome.
How to Define Your Why – Tools
Remember back when we put together vision boards at the beginning of this series? I bet that vision board will hold some of your why on it – whether it is pictures of your family, or words that have special meaning to you. It will help you define your why.
You can also look at your journaling. What are the things that keep popping up when you sit down to consider and reflect? What are the gratitudes that you have daily, weekly, or monthly? Are you seeing a pattern about the things you are choosing to say yes to, rather than saying a default yes because you feel like you ought to?
Those are all going to help you. How to define your why is going to be a personal process, but it is a very important piece of the puzzle.
Join our membership community for built it accountability and encouragement below!
What not to do
Do not try to use something you think should be your why, just because it sounds good. That is a recipe for disaster. You know deep down why you believe the things that you do. When you think about how to define your why, you need to remember that it is a personal experience. And honestly, you don’t have to share your why with anyone. I mean, it may be helpful to share it with your family, but outside of your spouse and your kids, there is no reason to share that why. It is personal, and it is specifically for you.
Do not expect people to understand why you would give up your salary or second car, or big home in order to stay home with your kids. Don’t expect people to understand why you don’t travel or why you like to appreciate the very small traditions instead of the big extravagant trips. You don’t need to justify why you sold all of your belongings and travel full-time as a family, or why you decided to build a log cabin in the middle of the woods.
Whatever your dream life is, whatever your why is, you do not have to justify it to anyone.
How to Define Your Why – Let yourself dream
It is OK to let yourself dream a little bit here. Your why can be very concrete, like your family relationships. Or it can be something much more goal oriented. You may not be there yet, but that direction is your why. That dream life is your why – the peace and tranquility, the travel, the simple life, the busyness of a specific city – whatever it may be, that can also be your why.
Take time to reflect. Revisit your vision board. Identify your core beliefs – what are the things that you and your family hold dear? These will all help you to define exactly what you want your life to be and, more importantly, the why behind it.
The bottom line, however, is to allow yourself to accept your why. Sometimes you think that your why may not be good enough. Or, perhaps you get a lot of pushback from close family and friends. But, you have to remember that it is your why, not someone else’s. So, while you may want the support of others as you work on crafting your dream life, understand that sometimes people do not get it. Learning to be OK with it is part of the journey.
Have you defined your why? Do you want to share it with someone who will cheer you on, whatever that may be? Please let me know!
