How to Overcome Fear
Before we learn to overcome fear, we need to know what exactly we are talking about here. I am not talking about phobias. Instead, I am talking about the fears that hold you back from crafting your dream life. Those lies that we tell ourselves as to why we can’t make progress on our goals. You wouldn’t necessarily think that is fear, would you? But, it absolutely is.
In order to overcome fear, you need to understand first what the fear actually is, why you are having those fears, and then finally you can learn to overcome them.
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The Types of Fear
The first fear that you need to overcome is the fear of failure. That is a huge one. The fear of failure ends up paralyzing you and not allowing you to make progress on your goals. If you fail, what was the point? You shouldn’t have bothered to begin with because the end result was not what you wanted.
Right next to the fear of failure is the fear of success. What would happen if you were successful? How would that upend your life? You think that you want this thing, but what happens if you actually get it? Now you have pressure on you to continue to perform. To overcome fear of success you are going to have to challenge yourself and your beliefs about yourself.
Finally, the fear of judgment. What about the people that don’t like your success? Or believe that you are working towards an unworthy goal? How are you going to overcome fear when others think that what you want is not of value?
All of this fear can be stifling. You don’t know how to make the next best step and instead become stagnant. You think that even though the known isn’t great, the unknown may be worse. That is a mindset that needs changing! Some fear of the unknown is OK – but we don’t want it to consume us.
Overcome Fear of Failure
So how do you overcome fear of failure? When you set goals, you have to understand that there are going to be times when you are behind. There are times you will feel like you are moving backwards. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to throw the entire goal out. Instead, use it as a learning opportunity. Look at where you struggled, and then start to reframe it into a new goal, taking what you learned from that failure to move forward.
The next way to overcome the fear of failure is to break it down more. Break that goal down into smaller, more manageable, chunks. Don’t let the big goal distract from all the little steps you need to take to achieve it. You need to be realistic about the time involved, about the effort you need to put into it. All goals need to be broken down into steps. The fear of failure may be because you are looking at the big picture instead of the tiny steps along the way.
Sometimes things are not working, and that is OK. If that is the case, start to reframe what you are working on. Maybe you try something and it doesn’t work. There is nothing wrong with that type of failure, you just need to redirect and change course. There are a lot of pivots in life, and this may be one of them. Don’t dwell on that failure as a bad thing and stop making progress. Assess the situation and figure out what your next step should be.
The Fear of Success
The fear of success is a very real thing. When you succeed, your life changes for the better. That can be scary. What you have worked for for so long is finally coming to fruition. To overcome fear of success you need to bring it back to your why.
Are you surprised I am saying that? You shouldn’t be! Your why is so important for overcoming a myriad of problems surrounding goals. When you have a strong why it is easier to say yes and no to the right things. It is easier to take the next step in the process, and it is easier to overcome fear of success. When you have a strong why, you start to remember why you wanted this success in the first place. It doesn’t automatically remove all fear, but it can help center you and get you over the hump.
Another option is to visualize the positive outcomes of this success. Instead of fearing it, lean into it. Remember what you are working towards and how that will impact your life overall. We want these positive changes!
Overcome Fear of Judgment
This one is a little more challenging. We often seek out the approval of others. You want others to celebrate your success, but instead there is judgment. To overcome fear of judgment you have to shift your focus. You need to accept your own decisions as best for you. Not everyone will agree with you, and that is absolutely fine.
We have made some really odd decisions over the years (or odd to others). Things like becoming a one car family so that I could stay home to homeschool. The decision to not participate in sports that have Sunday morning commitments. Even the decision to homeschool itself was judged. But, I couldn’t allow those judgments by other people impact my decisions for myself and my family, and you shouldn’t either.
While it can be challenging, you have to, again, go back to your why. There is a reason you are taking the steps you are, the reason your choices are what they are. Don’t discount all of that hard work you put in to come to the right course of action by allowing someone’s judgment of your decisions to derail you.
The Bottom Line
In order to overcome fear you need to remember why you are doing what you are doing. Go back and revisit it often. It is one of the reasons I recommend a yes and no list. That list will help you visualize why you are making the decisions you are making. It helps you to remember your why.
It is OK to be scared of change, most people are. But, you don’t want that fear to take hold and cause you to stop making progress on your goals. It is hard, but you can overcome it. If you need someone that is an unbiased observer, please come join my membership community. There is an enormous amount of accountability there to help you. I want you to succeed in whatever direction you want to go in as you craft your dream life. Remember, this is your dream life. Not someone else’s.
What fear are you holding onto right now?
