Personal Reflection on the Eulogy Exercise
Did you get a chance to work on the eulogy exercise? Was it challenging? Like I said, the first time I went through this exercise it was scary for me. I didn’t want to look at my life and see all the changes that I had to make in order to get to that eulogy I wanted. In fact, I didn’t even want to think that long range, thinking about my life passing me by, because that is emotional. I had babies at the time, and it was not something that I could easily think about.
But, as I went through the exercise, there were things that popped out to me, like my kids, like my family. I knew that I didn’t want life to speed by me with me just getting to the next thing. There was a lot of journaling, a lot of considering.
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What would matter most?
When I consider that question now, it is almost a no-brainer for me. The most important, what I value most? That is my relationships. My relationship with God, my relationship with my family, the relationship with my community.
It seems so simple in my eyes now, but it wasn’t always that way. There was a time when what showed as most important in my life was all the things that we were doing. But, were those really what was important? Or was it actually the people I was doing those things with? And if I removed some of the stress of getting to all of the events, what would be left?
At my funeral, I want people to say that I was a good wife and mom, that I was a steadfast friend and helper. What are the goals I need to have now in order to work towards that eventual outcome?
Stripping it all back
When you break down life into such small blocks – relationships. It starts to become clear what you ought to be doing. I knew that in order to build relationships, I couldn’t be going constantly. I understand that I am an introvert and highly sensitive person. If I am constantly going, I am never fully recharged, and I am unable to give my best self to my family and friends.
If my goal is to have strong relationships, I need to be coming to those relationships with a fresh demeanor each day. I can’t be constantly stressed, tired, and unfortunately angry, due to my overwhelm.
I want to put in a little caveat here. Just because this is what is most important to me, and the ways that I approach this, does not mean that it has to be the same for you. In fact, relationships could be your most important thing, and in order to live your best life you need to do more activities and be more involved. It doesn’t mean either of us is wrong. It means that we are unique.
The Bottom Line
Once you strip everything back to those core values that you have, you get some clarity on what you need to do next. And in order to craft your dream life you need to break it down into small, manageable chunks. This is just one aspect of understanding what you want from your future, but I find it so valuable.
When you strip everything back and understand what is most important, it allows you to say yes and no to the right things. Imagine having full confidence in those two little answers! How would that make you feel? To understand when you should be saying no because it doesn’t actually support your vision, or when you need to say yes in order to further that vision? I think that is one of the best feelings in the world.
It takes a large amount of work to get to that point. Even though I have been doing this for so many years, there are still times when I don’t make the right decision. It doesn’t mean that I am a bad person, or that I didn’t do the work. Instead, it means that I made a mistake. No path in life is easy or simple to navigate. It takes a lot of consideration and action on our part. And that is part of the journey!
What did you learn about yourself after you completed the eulogy exercise?
